Saturday, 06 June 2009

• The Manly Rant

  
  On top of my current wish list is Frank Miniter's The Ultimate Man's Survival Guide. (Found via Instapundit.)
  
  Short version: I really would want a husband who's a "gentleman warrior" like in Miniter's interview. Since I'm pretty dominant and masculine in character, I so want an even more dominant and masculine guy to whom I can totally depend upon, especially when I'm sick of trying to be competent and strong. A husband to whom I can be completely, and comfortably, girly and useless when I need to be would be my ultimate dream guy. (Oh, Lord, I pray you saved one for me! XD)
  
  TL;DR version: While I do think I'll be getting a good share of knowledge that even a 5'1" Asian geek-nerd chick could use, I find I really enjoy these "man-uals" because, quite frankly, I'm fascinated by the male gender. It's the same reason I like reading humor sites that pander to the male audience; guy humor is endearing and interesting to me while gal humor is boring.
  
  I certainly coo over cute stuff and sigh wistfully at a beautifully designed interior or a perfectly baked cake. I can list the common female complaints of men and do have my moments of female silliness (I try so hard not to, but once in a while I find myself tilting my head and saying something utterly stupid and female--if I could time-travel a future me would probably appear and slap me upside the head). I do enjoy the occasional mall-meandering where I try on pretty but unreasonable shoes and spend half-an-hour matching bracelets with my skin tone.
  
  But most of the time I would rather hang with the guys.
  
  I think this is so because I wish to adopt masculine qualities that I'm attracted to into my own character. Straight-forward speaking, protectiveness, rationality, decisiveness, an age old code of honor.
  
  All these I see in the men I know in different levels and forms and therefore, as a woman who find these traits attractive, I find myself sometimes more comfortable in a group of guys that I trust rather than with a group of girls (bar a small number of girl friends whom I can be totally insane with, in public no less)--mostly because hanging with girls just feels... normal. Unfortunately, "girls = normal = boring" to me in many things.
  
  Back to manliness.
  
  It's really sad, then, that today's feminism end up emasculating men to "equalize" the genders. Really, why the heck would I want a husband who's basically a lesbian who went through a sex-change op? A husband who's so completely "civilized" and "gender-equality conscious" that he's not a man, only male. How utterly boring--and really weird if my husband has more elaborate grooming habits than mine.
  
  I know there are many feminists that decry even the smallest gestures of chilvary as sexist--this I don't get. I would understand being patronized or belittled because of my gender, but having a door held open? Given a seat on a crowded bus? Walking together down a sidewalk and being moved to the side farthest from the street?
  
  Heck, I do these all myself to others because I wish to one day have these small gestures be returned (by my future husband, ideally). I may be able to open doors on my own, stand for 10 minutes on the bus, or not get killed walking on the side-walk, but having a man thoughtlessly show his deference to me just because I'm female is highly flattering in a way.
  
  Since I'm such a tomboy, and somewhat masculine in thinking and character, it gets me everytime when a guy does these things because it makes me feel feminine even with zero make-up, ratty sneakers, worn jeans, and a penchant for violent games. In an age where so many young girls have body image issues and are getting bombarded with mixed messages on how a woman should be (traditional roles vs. post-gender society roles, etc), I do believe these types of chilvaric gestures would do wonders to give a healthy self-image to girls.
  
  It's not that females are helpless or incapable of thought, but that we're supposed to be cherished and honored regardless if we're young or old, fat or thin, ugly or gorgeous, milkmaid or princess, soldier or nurse. That it's not a curse to be female. That, you know what, men aren't our enemies.
  
  Sure, it's reality that many men are enemies of women and that we need to be vigilant and self-sufficient, but the great thing is that even more men are champions that can be depended upon to be protectors. At least, I hope that is the truth. It'll totally suck if a woman is getting beaten and a guy comes by then, rather than go in fists swinging in immediate rescue, he just stands there dialing 911 and yelling for help like--like... like a damn girl.
  
  All the while the woman (or child, or another man, doesn't matter) is still getting pummeled where the next punch could be her death.
  
  What's the use of being physically stronger if all that potential is being wasted doing something a 13-year-old girl would do? Leave the hysterics and screaming to us, please go in and show the bastard that strength is to protect, not to abuse. (Does that make me old-fashioned? Then so be it.)
  
  My goodness, the more I think of it, the more I wonder why they don't just make it mandatory to teach chivalry in schools. To raise boys with "the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women", rather than instill fear of the myriad ways they could get sued in the future.
  
  Dangit, if I eventually have a son, I'm so going to raise him with those values (plus Christian morality, of course) so he can make a young lady very, very happy one day.
  
  A society that blends old-school chivalry and honor with equal rights... Girls, you can't honestly say that's not a dream come true?
  
  

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