Ning, one of my maids in Indo, died a week ago. I just found out yesterday, and apparently it was because of some kind of surprise miscarriage--they didn't know she was pregnant as she was using contraceptives with her boyfriend.
Ning was one of those energetic, cheerful, girls that could be friends with anyone and was fiercely loyal to my step-mom and sister. I remember going to Dufan (the Indo version of Disney) with my step-mom, sister, another maid-nurse, and her, having fun and taking photos together just like any other friends--race and class lines were nothing in light of her natural brightness.
During dinner, when the family gathered downstairs, my parents would tease her and she would spar right back, leaving a many nights full of laughter. She would always complain my room was like an ice cave, marveling that I can survive at snowy temperatures such as 22°C. She would pop in at random hours checking to see if I needed anything to drink/eat especially when I was engrossed with something and neglected to consume anything for the day. I remember it took her a while to get used to me fridge-raiding with no intention in mind, preparing my own snacks/drinks, or even cooking, as I was used to doing some things myself. After the first year she would finally go back to sleep whenever I pop into the kitchen after midnight to make noodles, rather than standing around looking sleepy and fussing.
The tradegy of her death is that she was so young. I'm not certain, but she is either younger than me or we're very close in age. She had her whole life in front of her--maybe it's a quiet village life in her future, like so many other Indo maids, but a potentiallly fullfilling life still.
Ning was still smiling and laughing the morning and evening the day she died. My step-mom reported that she left with her boyfriend near midnight when sometime afterwards her "womb broke" and she started bleeding heavily. As they discovered she was pregnant, I guess it meant she had a very bad sudden miscarriage.
The hospital couldn't stop the bleeding--or she didn't get to it in time, I don't know the details yet--and her low blood pressure dropped her into a coma. Five hours later she was gone.
Understandably her parents were in shock and her village in an uproar. They even suspect my father of "pake ilmu", or using sorcery, as Ning's death was considered very unnatural. (In a way, the dangers of pregnancy is very real and natural in a woman's life--but still it shouldn't have caused such a young and healthy woman her life so early in it.)
The constantly doubting part of me, conditioned by too many crime entertainment, wonders about the boyfriend and the causes for the "breaking" of her womb. Such sudden and heavy loss of blood in a pregnancy that's at most three months (Ning was slender and petite, everyone would have known she was pregnant if she was along any longer), is that possible without trauma?
I don't want to suspect anyone of foul-play, it maybe might have been an accident, as her boyfriend had been there for years and to my knowledge a fine young man, but the uncertainty just makes one question. Death always makes one want to understand, I think, or it becomes too alien and frightening. I wish they had done a proper autopsy, if only for her parent's peace of mind.
Through this all, I worry about my baby-sister, just recently turned seven. Ning had been with her almost all her life and I wonder how Chia-Chia is taking her first death of a person close to her. I'll call them later tommorow morning when everyone's home.
It'll be weird going back without Ning there. I even find myself constantly having to backspace as I keep writing about her in present tense.
One of the saddest things was that she was interested and receptive to the subtle encouragements to be a Christian. I can only pray for God to have mercy, and for Him to support her loved ones that she left behind.
Good-bye, Ning, we'll miss you.
Comments (2)
oh.. *hugs* :) Cheer up :D
oh yeah just visiting and I have been using some of your pictures in our computer ministry, as an encouragement to them and sometimes using them as coloring book.. hehehe.. hope you are not mad @.@
you are a blessing in our ministry!
Thanks, Chette!
And don't sweat about using my pictures, you know I'm all too happy to have helped with any ministry. ^^ Use whatever you guys need, or it'll just be wasted pixels anyway in the end. XD